So as you know I'm in Oxford now for this year. A bit of backstory on it.
After finishing my BSc Mechanical Engineering a year ago, I knew I wanted to take a break and think about what I'd do next. I started my BSc knowing I wanted to go to FTE/L3 to get my ATPL and fly airplanes, but between Formula Student, all these track experiences and just life going on, I started questioning wether sitting in an airplane seat would bring the fun I look for in a daily challenge. The more I progressed in the motorsport thing, the less sure I was about aviation being my place. While I love it and I would be happy with either job realistically, but the cost of this masters is 4 times less than the ATPL, and I'd have a more dynamic workplace to be in, so I let the thought settle for a while and finally applied to study MSc Motorsport Engineering in Oxford Brookes University, probably Top 2 if not top 1 in the world for this. Pretty expensive to move here (and a pretty expensive masters after brexit) but in the end, I applied by Easter, and got confirmation by July.
September 16th I packed up and travelled the 400km to Madrid for the "last" time. Having never moved out or anything, and this apparently being a dramatic life change and all that, I was meant to be shitting it but I actually didn't really care (happens a lot, the worse crap gets, the less I "feel" and stress). September 18th at 4AM I was driving to the airport. This would be my last drive for 3 months. 20 minutes to the airport, empty city, family in tow at the back, windows down and music playing. Probably the best drive I had in a long time. Happy for the step I was taking but really thinking I should be scared as hell due to how far I was going. Was this the end of life as I knew it? Would I be back to where I came from and live as I knew before? What if something happened? What if I needed something and no one knew the answer? Honestly, I didn't think about it too much. I don't know if it was thought blocking or just not caring. Probably a mix of both and just an attitude of "let's see then". I was excited to fly again, to go to somewhere pretty similar to London which I love, and I'd be able to call people and chat I hoped.
We enter the airport, check in around 35kg worth of bags and as my flight left from the satellite terminal, I needed to pass security soon. Couple hugs, a much less emotional goodbye than I was expecting, which I'm SO thankful for, and off I was. Quick wave through the scanner to the fam and as I turned around, this is the first time I thought "shit, what am I getting myself into". Quickly brushed it off and down the escalators to the satellite terminal then. Got there, everything was closed and pretty grim, but I found a shop. Got a bottle of water and carried my whole 85kg counting with a big ass backpack full with my laptop, study folder, camera, headphones and who knows what else I put in there.
Flight was off in a while, and sunrise started. Insane views and I was shortly asleep. Woke up when we were descending into Heathrow and shortly after got off the airplane. First thought was how cold it was. Going from 25 to 11 degrees was crazy in September. With that I walked for a while and found baggage claim, customs and all that. Bus to Oxford after and before I knew it I was here.
((Soundtrack pt. 2) First thing was unpacking as soon as possible to avoid the reality of "you're way away from home" to hit, because I knew if it did it would be hell for a few days. Within a couple hours everything was set up and I was having a spanish ham sandwich for lunch in the kitchen. Very clean facilities, pretty modern, well equipped, not so bad. Few hours after I met with the rest of the Spanish guys. It felt very good to finally cling into something familiar, and it had only been around 8 hours since I left lol. We hung out for a while, went shopping for the basic pillows/pans/cutlery stuff, and went to dinner right after.
I was now officially here.
One thing I've always been scared of is loosing people. I know life goes on and life moves on, but I always try to keep people close when I know we both want to stay in touch. The Saturday before coming here I went to my friend's race just because I knew he'd appreciate it a lot, even though he's one of those that doesn't really say it. It was a great time as you know, and I've never felt more welcome than that day. I won't get tired of saying it but everyone was very happy to see me there, and I honestly wasn't expecting it. I did let him know I would love to make it to the last one (November 19th) but it would be really difficult if not impossible for me to do it. Due to projects, exams, and basically the masters as a whole I aready made my mind up and knew I would miss it. As weeks passed and my schedule took shape, with deadlines and exams being set, I looked at the calendar and somewhat confirmed my beliefs. Turning a Project proposal in Friday November 4th, Class test (exam) Monday November 14th, Aerodynamics portfolio Friday November 18th, and a dynamics portfolio draft November 25th. Race was right in between all that mess.
(Soundtrack pt. 3) Weeks 2 and 3 went by and I already took care of 1/3rd of the Dynamics portfolio. People were talking about going home for a weekend, and frankly, if everyone was going, I probably should too. It's not going to hurt my performance all that much to take 2.5 days off instead of 1, that week. Family can make it to Madrid as my brother is studying there and whole mom's side of the family is there. I love it here but I REALLY want to reset at "home" for a weekend. Was I starting to see a possibility?
Thought about it for a week and pulled the trigger. Now I had to shut my mouth up and not say anything. Talk to his dad and show up at 8AM that saturday for the surprise. But whoever writes this life thing had other plans.
Mid October he had a race for a regional karting championship, where he's in Junior X30. He sent me the link to watch this new stream and was very very happy I could make it. Race one finished and he goes from P11 to P7 on a pretty damn good race. Race 2 I didn't get to watch because they were delayed and the channel started streaming the next programme. An hour past the checkered and he hasn't said anything. He's either done very well, messed it up pretty bad or crashed. Really hoping it's not the last one and here I wait.
About 1h30 after he finished he messages me saying he's fucked it bad. Bad tyre warming, lockup into turn one and he placed last after not being able to recover. We were very very bummed seeing he had done a sick weekend on a good chassis. He was questioning if he should keep going, saing how he proved he's not good enough for it due to this, and just overall in a very shit spot. I could try cheer him up with you know what or just be there and still keep the surprise up for November. Thinking about how much it meant to him to have me there last time and how much he wanted me to make it to the race, I knew this would get him out of that mindset and while he'd still think about the fuckup, as he should, he wouldn't be feeling like shit anymore, or so I thought. Listened to him for a while and tried to pat him on while telling him this is how life is and how I wanted to see him get back up like he's never done.
"I need you to do the best you can for next one man. Shit happens and this is how you get back up. You need to fall hard as hell first". "Yeah I know". "By the way, so when is the next one?" "Jarama, November 19th, Aygo cup". I had it. So I dropped it.
"Dude I don't really tell this usually but can I tell you something?"
"Sure, what is it?"
"I was really debating wether to tell you or not but... I think I need to."
"Wait. ARE YOU COMING?" (this cheered me up way more than it should have, to see this is his first thought was unexpected lol)
"NO WAY. How? You have a lot of work though. That's insane! " Queue a bunch of very appreciative adjectives towards me apparently.
"Wait so you're coming friday night right?"
"Yep"
"Leaving sunday morning? That's like a day."
"Mhm"
"Bruh I feel so important lol. You're 3000km away, you stop by and you spend half of it in my race
"I don't know about you but I live for these moments. Surprise "didn't work out" but I couldn't just see him like that and not do anything. Plus I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have been able to keep my mouth shut for a month and a half. Life's lived through challenges and all that self help book crap, but to me, this is what living is. Seeing him happy made my day, just as when his mom called me over and asked me if I wanted a sandwich for lunch just like if I was one of them. The little things dude. It's insane.
So yeah, I have a two jobs to do in 2 weeks time. 1st see the fam, and 2nd go and support my f'ing favourite driver. I'll keep you posted.
stealing it definitely 
